I handed in my resignation this week, a fact which became public this morning.

Being off sick, and then being on holiday, gave me the opportunity and the perspective to properly kick back, relax, and think deeply about life, the universe and everything.

Fact : at the beginning of the year, I was taking the occasional migraine tablet. Fast forward to now, and I’m on six different daily medications for 5 different problems, all of which are stress related. Ending up in hospital scared me.

Fact : I’ve been struggling, trying to combine work, Mum and my own life, even on a reduced 4 day working week. All three aspects have suffered as a consequence.

Fact : regardless of whether Mum agrees to go into a home permanently after her trial day or not, I need to conjure up Time from somewhere - either on a short term basis, to sort out and pack up the flat, or, if she stays there after all, reduce my working week even further, to allow for some more Me time and hang onto my sanity. My job won’t work on a 3 day/week basis.

So after much soul searching, and talking, Chris and I agreed this was the way to go. Luckily, it’s financially feasible on a shortish term basis, and I will do the odd bit of temping to top the coffers up. Work have been very nice about it all, my MD in particular said she was very sorry to see me go. I officially finish when we close for Christmas, but will be doing a couple of days a week during some or all of January to help out while they recruit my replacement - so I don’t have to worry about finding some temp work just yet!

I will be glad to close the door on 2007; I said right back in January I didn’t have a good feeling about the year, and I’ve been proved right time and time again. 2008 will be a fresh start, and this time I’ll be making my health my number one priority.

Today, my Mother hit a new high in embarressing me in public. She surpassed herself. On a scale of 1-10, this has to have been an 18 at least…

We were in M&S. Having got through her Orthopaedic follow up appointment more quickly than you’d think was possible in the NHS, we had some spare time, and Mum wanted to be measured for a new bra. So, we did that, selected two to buy, and headed for the tills - scene of The Incident.

We were served by a rather pretty, young black girl, who had a dazzling smile, which she flashed liberally, and which revealed a large gap between her two front teeth. On handing over her card, Mum said - in her I’m deaf so everybody else is too voice -

*So - who knocked out your front teeth dear?*

I hissed - loudly - *MOTHER!!!* Girl looked a bit taken aback, then said (with another smile) that she’d been born like that. Everyone, and I mean everyone - and it was busy in there - turned and looked aghast at me. I apologised profusely to the girl, and dragged Mum away so quickly her feet nearly didn’t touch the ground. She tried to pass it off as a harmless joke, I had to be blunt and tell her she’d been plain rude. Trouble is, if she takes this to heart, it could easily trigger a low (it doesn’t take much, and an ill considered comment that later comes back to haunt her is a common cause of lows), but I had to say something to her.

Bloody hell!

The second retail experience of the day was much nicer - the start of Christmas Shopping with my mate Jan, and a very enjoyable few hours we had too. Late night shopping is great! Now, who sells gags…

I got a wet head on the way home today.

Not strange, seeing as it was raining when I left work, but it wasn’t solely down to that - more to do with the fact that I wasn’t wearing my coat with a hood.

And the reason for that is, said coat with hood was cast aside over a chair on Monday when I wore it last - and landed furry hood up on the dining room table.

Furry hood up makes an excellent cat bed - a 100% true fcat that both Pickle and Button can attest to, seeing as they’ve spent most of the last 72 hours curled up in it, either separately, or together.

It’s very cute. And being soft, I just couldn’t disturb them. Hence different coat.

It was exceptionally funny though, when Button stretched and leant back this evening - pushing the chair back as she did - and then grabbing hold of the hood as the coat started to slip - but of course one was connected to the other, and the last thing I saw was a rather startled and suddenly awake Button slipping down between chair and table, totally engulfed in coat.

They don’t like it when you laugh at them…

Would’ve looked good on Youtube if I’d had a camera…

Link

Don’t know if this link will work, (doesn’t look like it does!) but if not, and you want to know what happened with Eric’s RSPCA court case, google This is Derbyshire, and search under RSPCA / Magistrate ban for 23/11.

(Edit by Paul - the link works now!)

Not quite the result we’d hoped for, but better than nothing. What’s important is that he’s in a loving home now, and hasn’t had his mobility afftected too much. They may be doing a follow up piece; I’ll blog the link as and when that happens!

We’re back, more than a tad travel weary - our trip home began at 4.30pm UK time yesterday, and finished just this side of 3am when we crashed in the door, much to the alarm of 4 snoozing cats. Who I had to get up and let out at 7.30am. This was about 2 hours later than it should have been, largely due to baggage handling in Manchester. Which is crap.

Ug.

Chris has the tail end of a tummy bug he picked up on our penultimate day, and I’m just plain knackered, so holiday blog proper, with pictures, will be along in a few days time - but yes Kouros, we did have a float in the Dead Sea and it’s weird!!!

Had to be done - especially as they have an internet cafe at the hotel! I say cafe - it’s actually a desk off reception, but who cares?!

Having a really good holiday, the trip to Jerusalem & the Dead Sea yesterday was loooong, but good - but the border controls were a nightmare!

We’ve had wall to wall sunshine, temps of 30 each day and are both achieving good tans - I look healthy!! Tomorrow is the snorkelling trip which should be another great day. Hotel is lovely, we’re already plotting how we can come back for a fortnight next time. Or see if there’s any jobs out here now…

Salem!

Hi chums, Paul here again. Today’s text from Jenny:

Salem! Just to let you know all going well, hotel is lovely, weather is great and the food is good too! Booked two trips, Dead Sea and Jerusalem on Saturday (pick up 4:30 AM, eek!) and snorkelling on a replica pirate ship on Monday.

In the follow-up she mentions the quantities of prescription pharmaceuticals she’s getting through, to keep herself going, but they’re having a good time. Oh, and Chris managed 13 hours without smoking on Tuesday but has made up for it since

Hello chums, Paul again…blimey, I spend more time on this blog than Jenny does…hang on while I feed the cats…

Anyway, a selection of texts received from her Jenniness through the day:

10:07: Oh joy: our scheduled 40 minute stop at Gatwick has turned into a three-hour plus delay. And when we’re on the plane we’ll be surrounded by Mancunian chavs!

11:45: Called through to reboard, phone going off now

19:10 Didn’t take off till 2 PM! The saga got worse before it got better. Now on the coach for the one hour drive to the hotel

Ah well, they’re there now! I’ll update you when I hear from them again.

…and I’m ready.

I don’t just mean packing and cat sorting and neighbour alerting ready - I mean ready.

I was looking back today, thinking it’s been a helluva 6 months - no scratch that, 11 months, Mum was bad from Christmas. No hang on, go back a bit more, she was in hospital last autumn when we revamped her flat, so make that 14 months. In fact, her health has deteriorated steadily since the blood clot, so it’s actually two years. Or even the ten years since we lost Dad. Add in a divorce, a redundancy and my own health problems, and it’s all been pretty relentless. No wonder I feel like I’m running on empty.

I’m really ready.

See you again in a week (if I haven’t found a job out there…)

…and amazingly, we are still running on schedule!

This morning I made it to church for the Remembrance Sunday service - first time I’ve shown my face there since August, and what a nice welcome I received, plenty of people asking how I am and how Mum is. Hopefully with the extra help from social services I’ll be able to go a bit more often now. It was good to touch base again.

Chris and I then hit Tescos and bought ridiculously expensive toiletries and mini me versions of all sorts of stuff for the holiday. I’m going back tomorrow for all the regular stuff (like cat food!) that I forgot…

This afternoon was mainly spent vegging on the sofa (and in my case eating far too much plain chocloate), in between putting on washloads and turning the whole house into Widow Twankey’s annex. Chris then embarked on an ironing marathon and I packed my suitcase, which went very well - I only had to alternately evict Eric and Pickle every two minutes.

So tomorrow I have some odd jobs to do, and my toiletries bag to pack, and then I would appear to be ready. This is all going too smoothly, there must be something I’ve forgotten!

Not having done much in the way of pre-preparion - partly because I didn’t want to overdo it last week, as I only really started feeling anything like right on Tuesday - but also because there wasn’t really that much I could do - these next three days are action packed!

Today was Mum day, and she has been bathed, tableted & packed for the next 11 days and delivered to Briar Close. This is the same home she went to for respire care earlier this year (crikey, ws that really only this year - talk about a lot of water under the bridge!), and liked very much. It isn’t unfortunately the one I’ve earmarked for her permanent placement, but I’m hoping the timing will really work to our mutual advantage : she”l be there for the best part of two weeks, and if anything like last time, she’ll come out chirpier than she’s been in a long while. She’ll then have about two and half weeks back at her flat before she spends her day at the earmarked home - just about long enough (I hope!) to miss the company and lifestyle of a home…well, that’s the plan anyway.

Back to today though - we left her flat bang on time (and I didn’t have to chivvy her too much), and stopped for lunch on the way - Mum’s first meal out this year, owing to her not being able to eat *normal* food before her pouch operation. This week mark six weeks since the op, and we’ve gradually been introducing more chewable/swallowable foods. Well, today marked a proper return to the land of eating normally, with a steak and kidney pud - which she not only enjoyed, but pretty much polished off (and the helping wasn’t little!). You could tell how boosted she felt by this, and we got to Briar Close in good spirits. It took me an hour and a half to unpack & sort out all her stuff (I had to itemise everything she’d brought - and the one bag she packed herself included the kitchen sink..!). When I left her there, she was being chatted up by an old boy called Alan (and seemingly enjoying getting into the swing of things).

So, there endeth the Day of Mum. Tomorrow is the Day of Packing, and Monday is the Day of Everything I’ve Not Done or Forgotten. I’ll keep you posted!

I poached this idea from Sarah over two weeks ago; if I don’t blog it now, I never will! - and seeing as I can’t think of anything else interesting to blog about (for I’m certain you’ve had enough of my bathroom habits), this is as good a time as any.

Four jobs I have had in my life:

Saturday girl in the kids department of Russell & Bromley (got regularly kicked in the face by fractious toddlers, but the staff discount was great!!)

Working in a wine bar - I had to leave, I was too short to reach the top shelf!

Uncivil servant (twice, once for the MOD, once for the Ordnance Survey)

Account Manager for an advertising agency (loved the driving, hated the job)

Four movies I’ve watched more than once:

Four Weddings and a Funeral ( LOVE the first few minutes!!)

Robin Hood Prince of Thieves

Big (the giant keyboard scene is one of my all time favourite movie moments)

Deep Impact

Four places I have lived: (only 4??!!)

Hove (the posh bit of Brighton)

Malawi (central Africa)

Salisbury

Long Eaton (nowhere near the gun totting capital of England, honest!)

Programmes that I watch:

Coronation Street

Mock the Week

Location Location (and Relocation, and anything with Phil & Kirstie)

Question Time (with the live texts - had I mentioned I’ve had one broadcast…)

Places I have travelled to: (OK, this could sound pretentious - when I was little, Dad worked for the airlines, so we went to loads of places, I just can’t remember them! In the interests of fairness, I shall list places I’ve been to as a grown up)

France

Tunisia

Egypt (and I’m counting the days….!!!!!!!)

Holland

Four People who e-mail me (regularly):

Marriott Hotels (and I even cancelled the booking that got me on their damn mailing list in the first place)

erm…erm…I’m really rubbish at email (apart from at work), I’ll nick Paul’s idea, and opt for texters :

Paul

Chris (often with football scores. Strange.)

Sarah (but which one…? You decide!!)

Jan

Four of my favourite foods:

Chocklit. Dammit.

A good roast dinner with lashings of gravy

Mashed potatoes

Salad (that’s salad, not salad)

Four places I would rather be right now:

On the same sofa, but weighing two stone less, and eating chocklit with NO GUILT

Nope, can’t manage another three. Quite happy where I am at this precise moment

Four things I am looking forward to this year:

It ending. 2007 has officially sucked

Our holiday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winning the lottery (the eternal optimist)

Seeing friends at Christmas/New Year

But nowhere near as serious as before, and Doc and I are already on top of it as it were. I’ve not had to resort to pj trews yet.

On a completely different note, I heard some promising noises from social services today : firstly and most immediately, they’ve approved funding for some extra weekly time to allow for the care agency to provide an assisted bathing service for Mum, and secondly, it doesn’t look like favoured residential home #1 would be financially out of the question - they’ll have some accurate figures for me by the end of the week, so with a bit of luck, I can start arranging for Mum to spend a half day there to see if she likes the place when we come back from holiday.

Seem to have caught up with myself - not the omnibus edition I was hoping for, more like several instalments, but the end result’s the same!

(Isn’t the metaphor a wonderful thing?!)

Not quite got rid of all the bloatedness, but have managed to graduate from the tartan trews to jogging bottoms, so, progress again. Also was able to go round to Mum’s and do her tablets for the week, and have an argument about the contents of her fridge. According to her, a prawn sandwich filler, dated best before 31 Oct would still be perfectly alright on 5 November, because that’s only a few days, and besides, they’re in mayonaise.

Go figure.

…I’m getting there. Slow, but definite progress today, but still feeling very bloated/icky/tender/pukey etc.

These tartan pj trews are worth every penny, they’re the only thing I can wear!!

Hello, yes I’m back home and feeling more than a little ragged round the edges.

Piecing it all together, it would seem that my IBS went into meltdown over the weekend, which combined with me feeling low anyway, a urinary tract infection (which I didn’t know I had until I was in hospital), and being badly dehydrated after all the up chucking, just proved too much for my system. I’ve always tended towards the constipation end of the IBS scale, but this was something else. If I tell you (and I apologise to the squeamish, but I’ve spent the last few days talking about my bodily functions with complete strangers, so I have no shame!!) that after 2 enemas, twice daily doses of lactulose AND some sachet drink thing that’s meant to work when all else fails, I’ve STILL hardly been, you’ll understand just how clogged up I’d got. And still am.

But, the pain is better, and I’ve stopped throwing up, so here I am, back at home, with tablets, sachet drinks, a vat of lactulose and dietary advice, plus a note signing me off work for 2 weeks. This takes me halfway into our holiday, so I actually won’t be back at work until 22nd November.

My doctor did say to me that he didn’t think I’d make it to the holiday without some time off - I guess my body decided that if I wasn’t going to listen, it’d take matters into its own hands.